I need Yoga. Because I am anxious and uptight and I can get a bit extreme. Yoga is the only way I can actually “keep calm and carry on." The strenuous postures and flow supported by the continual inhale and exhale, soothes my brain and permits it to find rest. I’d be maniacal, or technically more maniacal, without it.
But this post isn't about how wonderful and healing yoga is, although, yoga is very much those things. It’s about how I was able to turn something so therapeutic and restorative, in this case, yoga, into a destructive, even corruptive activity.
I was just getting back into my yoga practice after having baby #3 and felt pretty uppity in my yogic capabilities. Until this early morning class I went to, where I was noticeably the outcast to this ardent, kinda cult-like, morning group. I set my mat next to a woman who likewise had just had a baby and who was still in the stages of early nursing. As we began our sun salutations and ventured further into the class, eventually contorting our bodies into floating poses and back-bends beyond normal human ability, I quickly saw this woman was incredible. She was so rhythmic and serene, so completely malleable and light in her movement. By the end of class, I realized I had spent my entire hour comparing my abilities with hers, that I hadn't even savored my precious time to myself. I couldn't let go of the thought that she had outshone me. That I was less than her. I walked out that door entirely defeated.
But anyone who knows anything about yoga, knows that it is supposed to be an individualistic, healing practice. The movement and breath and postures are meant to cleanse and nourish your own body. You learn to feel and hear what your own body needs. Comparing and competing with your neighbor destroys the entire practice. And comparing myself to this woman had most definitely stricken, even corrupted, my own source of nourishment.
There’s this quote by Teddy Roosevelt that can’t escape my thoughts; you've probably seen it floating around Pinterest, you know the one:
Well it’s true. It is. And that’s why I can’t get it out of my head.
Basically any aspect of human life can lose its virtue and power in supporting and sustaining life as it becomes compared and contrasted against another person.
It takes love out of our thoughts
and our hearts,
as we fragment loving, feeling, whole human beings into single abilities, talents, looks, assets.
And then yearning to exceed or advance upon those singular facets.
C.S. Lewis wrote,
We say that people are proud of being rich, or clever, or good-looking, but they are not. They are proud of being richer, or cleverer, or better looking than others. If every one else became equally rich, or clever, or good-looking there would be nothing to be proud about. It is the comparison that makes you proud, the pleasure of being above the rest.
- Mere Christianity
What if we were motivated by love in all things instead?
What if we did yoga out of love for ourselves and for the benefit of those surrounding us. What if love was the driving force, rather than the need to measure up or excel above the next individual….
Start looking at what motivates you to act or to think in the ways that you do? If you are trying to prove something, or be better than the next, you will never find joy.
It will always escape you.
Because there will always be someone smarter, wealthier, wiser, kinder, prettier, faster, stronger, taller, skinnier, etc. But if you are motivated by love you can always reach another person, you'll see the beauty and goodness in yourself and all you come in contact with; in this there will always exist satisfaction and joy.
From this view, we let go of competitive elevation, of degrading or promoting, and we become filled with compassion, confidence. We begin to see ourselves and each other as we are, whole and real and good.